Communication story: She talks, and I "listen" - 04/24

I got married in 2012 and until 2015, I used to silently listen to my wife's conversation (all married men know how much we "listen"!) with regular acknowledgments like "hmm, ok, wow, oh, smiles, laughter". Life was good!

However, over time, my wife figured my quiet listening approach and started asking me to talk. She would say, "Why don't you open up and tell me what you think? What bothers you?" So, I honestly shared my thoughts which were actually on topics like "Global warming and El-Nino phenomena", "How to migrate to sustainable fuel source", "Plastic disposal issues", and the "US debt limit" 

Once she heard my thoughts, she stopped asking me those questions. But after a few months, I realized I needed a better way to ensure she talks while I continue to "listen" for a healthy married life. 

Now, when she starts talking about any topic, I’ve replaced my previous responses (“hmm,” “ok,” “wow,” etc.) with the classic 5 W questions related to the topic she is talking on: “what,” “who,” “when,” “where,” “why,” and “how.” At regular intervals, asking 5W questions by adding key words related to the topic she is discussing, sparks conversation and keeps her talking.

And life is good again: she talks, and I "listen"!

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